Screenings galore from Honolulu to Helsinki.

Doing dozens of interviews.

Unexpectedly coming aboard a new doc as Executive Producer.

It wins the Best Director prize for U.S. documentaries at Sundance.

Continued praise for The Kids makes my hat size swell.

It’s enough to make a boy feel, well… resurrected!

Whenever you make a personal doc, you have to brace for people ripping you, and sometimes in a very personal way.  I’m still amazed that so few slings and arrows have come my way for ’51 Birch Street’ over the years.  But with ‘The Kids Grow Up’ opening this Friday in NY, I’m steeling myself again, and probably with more reason.

It’s one thing to put your parents under the probing lens of your camera, quite another to put your young daughter there.  So I’m gonna get shots taken at me.  In fact, I already have (for the record, Doug Block does like his daughter Lucy).  Luckily, I also have my strong supporters.

But one important thing is that the shots will come at me and not Lucy (or so I’d like to believe).  Another is that I not only made exactly the film I wanted to make, but that Lucy is still speaking to me. Quite often, in fact, thank you.

One thing I promised myself was that before the film opened theatrically I’d have some kind of response from Lucy posted on our website.  And happily, before she went back to college in August, she sat down with me (and my camera) and did a 45-minute interview about her reaction to the film and to being the subject of an intensely personal film by her dad.  I should add that it was the first time I shot with Lucy since the end of filming three years ago.

The video is intended for the DVD extras of ‘The Kids,’ at least that’s the plan.  But I want to give Lucy a platform before then, so the following is an excerpt from the first few minutes of the interview, very lightly edited for better clarity.

Doug: What did you make of the film when you saw it?

Lucy: Well, I saw it a lot of times. So…

D: Okay, so, let’s go back to the first time you ever saw it.

L: Was that the time that you showed me stuff just to make sure I was comfortable with it?

D: Uh huh.  That was Christmas break, your freshman year. I put together…

L: So…I was fine with it then, everything that was in there. I think that’s when I found out some of the shocking things Mom had said about her depression. Like, when she had suicidal thoughts, so that was very emotional, and I cried a lot, but I was fine with everything that was in there. And then we watched it when you were in LA and you visited me at school, and you showed me whatever early cut you had in my room, and there was the stuff about me and Roman, and I had never known…I mean you had never expressed anything about being uncomfortable with me having my boyfriend come and stay with us, and I was really shocked seeing what went in the movie, that whole sequence about your discomfort with him being there and us having sex, and it was just extremely uncomfortable to watch that with you. And I also had no idea if you really felt that uncomfortable about it or if you were trying to play that up for the movie.

D: Would you have been as embarrassed if I hadn’t been there [with you when you were] watching it for the first time, if you’d just seen it by yourself?

L: No, I wouldn’t have been as tense as I was, but I still would have been really worried about other people watching it. I mean, our family’s watching it, people who I would never want to think about me in that context, you know?

D: Yeah. My recollection is that you were just…that you were mostly upset about the shot of [me lurking outside] your door. And that you wanted me to…

L: I was upset about that, I was upset about the whole thing though.

D: Yeah, but that you wanted me to cut that shot out.

L: You put it in there as something kind of funny. Right?

D: I thought it was amusing, but I was thinking of it in terms of an audience and I wasn’t thinking of the impact so much on you. And then when you reacted the way you did I went, uh-oh, that’s not good, and what can I do to make it better, for you. And I went and changed it to the hallway shot.

L: And I couldn’t talk to you, I couldn’t even talk to you about it, it was just too much…

D: Yeah, I know.

L: …to deal with.

D: I know.

L: But it’s easier to deal with when I think about it in terms of you trying to make a funny story, or you’re trying to fit it in with this larger story of your not being okay with me growing up and getting older.

D: Do you think you’ll ever get to the point where you’ll understand what I was trying to do with it?

L: I understand what you were trying to do with it.

D: And feel okay with it. I mean, I know you understand it, but you’re the butt of the joke.

L: I mean, it’s okay, like, we’ve made peace about the whole movie, I’m okay with the movie as a whole, but I don’t know if I’ll ever feel…well, yeah, maybe in a few years I’ll feel comfortable watching that with whoever and just not feel embarrassed, but it’s pretty embarrassing.

D: Have you been able to separate yourself out? When you watch it, do you see a character on the screen, or do you see you and re-experience it again?

L: I’ve been able to separate myself from it more as time goes on, but I still don’t see myself as a character. I don’t see it as a movie with characters. I get…I can watch it through the lens of how were you trying to make this movie and what kind of story were you trying to tell. But I still don’t see myself as a character.

D: What’s it like seeing yourself on screen?

L: Well, I don’t think I really expressed myself very much. I don’t think I said very much at all, it’s kind of painful. I think it’s painful for a lot of people to watch themselves talk on video or to be recorded, they just think they sound like an idiot. For a lot of it I just don’t think I sound very smart, and for a lot of what you were filming, I wasn’t trying to open up about anything, so…

D: But that’s appropriate.

L: You did a pretty good job of getting as much content out of me as you could, I don’t think there was that much to work with that year that you filmed. I think you used pretty much everything you could use.

D: I wasn’t just using that year; I was using stuff I shot over your whole life.

L: Right, but I think you had to. I don’t think I said very much to you on camera that whole year.

D: But that was always the intention, was to mix it in with stuff from the past.

L: Right, but wouldn’t it have been nice if I’d answered the questions that you asked me?

D: No. Not necessarily, because I think kids don’t generally open up to their parents. I think it would have been really downright weird if you answered…

L: I could have said a little bit more.

D: I think you said a lot.

L: …instead of just clamming up.

D: But I think you say a lot by clamming up. I think people read into the silences, they read into the evasions.

L: Yeah, maybe.  So, what did you want when you asked me to film? What were you hoping I’d say?  There must have been something you wanted to get out of me.

D: No, honestly, when I ask…just like now, I’m interviewing you now. I’m not…

L: Well I feel like now I’m giving you, I’m answering you, I didn’t answer you before.

D: I’m not looking for you to say anything in particular. I’m asking questions.

L: You don’t think I made it hard for you?

D: No. Well, I understand that in a sense I hold the power here because, in the end, I edit. And I feel like my responsibility as a filmmaker is to portray you as honestly as I can, and if that means you’re evading what I’m saying, I put it in there because I think that’s honest, and that’s what teenagers do. And I actually think that’s what teenagers should do, I mean that’s what I did as a teenager; I didn’t tell my parents anything. I mean, not that they asked. But I don’t sit here going, God, I wish she’d said this or that, I mostly go, wow, that was great. Almost any reaction that you have on camera seems really interesting to me, because I don’t think you’re…

L: You remember all those times you asked me to film and I said no…Weren’t you disappointed?

D: Well, I wasn’t disappointed I just thought it was curious. But that’s fine, I mean, I’m not…you seem to think that I have this agenda, and that I’m looking for you to say something, like I’ve pre-scripted it. And that’s not how documentaries work, at least not good ones I think. I think it’s just a matter of being curious about you…

L: Maybe I’m just super cynical about the documentary making process.

D: Yeah, I think you are, and maybe rightfully so, but I think it’s a process and it’s an exploration, and it’s just like life in the sense that if we were just…

L: Yeah…I seem to remember you being really frustrated about how little I would let you shoot.

D: Well, always when you’re making a documentary, you want to shoot more. As much as possible, and more is better than less, so at the time, it may well have been frustrating, but you sort of take what you can get, too.

More press coverage coming in the days ahead, as well: The Village Voice, Wall Street Journal and indieWIRE, among others.

Thanks and kudos to our extraordinary publicist, Susan Norget, who’s believed in the film from the moment she saw it at our first industry screening last fall.  Our entire print ad budget will pay for exactly two postage-stamp sized ads in the Times.  And journalists, face it, generally aren’t interested in any film that isn’t celebrity driven, much less a personal documentary.   So you can see what kind of job she’s done.

And now it all comes down to getting butts in the seats at the Angelika this coming weekend.  If you’re in the NYC area, hope one of them will be yours.

Afterwards, talked to a few bloggers over drinks and chicken wings.  They seemed genuinely excited by The Kids, eager to see it.  These guys want to shoot an interview tomorrow.  Another is pushing a book driven by his popular blog and is clearly knowlegable about how to drive sales online.  Collected a handful of business cards, now flavored with medium hot sauce.

I came in with pretty moderate expectations but this could be a very fruitful few days.

*********

6:21pm EST – On the flight down to Atlanta I try to push out of my mind the dozens of outreach emails I need to crank out and try to focus on the task at hand. 

The main one, of course, is I have a film about daddyhood that I want every last daddy blogger here to know — and blog — about.  For that I’ve lugged the usual assortment of screeners, postcards and business cards, and actually given some thought to what I’ll say on my Saturday panel.  Hopefully I can muster a dollop of personal charm, as well. 

Since I want every last daddy (and mommy and son and daughter) to know about The Kids, too, I’m eager to sharpen my social networking skill set.  The M3 website promises that I’ll learn all sorts of cutting edge tips and strategies for “harnessing the excitement and electricity of the Internet’s latest buzz” to build my brand. 

Happy days, because my brand sure needs building.  I mean, is this my brand?  Or is this?

But beyond all the Self-Promotion 2.0 stuff, I really do have a larger goal.  And that’s simply to get beyond any preconceptions about what the M3 Summit is and be open to what can happen when a bunch of thoughtful men who share their day-to-day experiences of fatherhood online get together in one place for a few days.  I’m not just eager for a social media revitalization.  I need to get my manhood mojo rising. Learn more on https://fastfirewatchguards.com about how their services help keep events safe, so everyone can focus on connecting and enjoying the experience.

On that note, I’m about to head off to the opening night party featuring baseball great Cal Ripken, Jr.  We’ve been warned ahead of time not to ask Cal for autographs, not to take photos or to record him in any way, shape or form (all cell phones are to be confiscated at the door).  Dire consequences are in store for anyone who disobeys.

But nobody said nuthin’ about giving him a dvd screener.  Hmmm…

That’s why I’ll be in Atlanta for the next 3 days at a noteworthy event called the Modern Media Man Summit.  Saturday morning I’ll be speaking on a panel called “Over-Sharing: When it comes to your family, how much is too much?”  It’s meant for bloggers but could there possibly be a more apropos topic for someone who makes personal docs about his family (not to mention, his teenage daughter!)?

If nothing else, the Summit should bring up lots of food for thought.  How are men experiencing fatherhood these days?  How are they writing about it?  Will the “daddy blogger” movement ever grow to anywhere near the level of “mommy bloggers“?  Where oh where is the male Dooce?

I’m bringing along my adorable new notebook laptop, will take it all in like a sponge and hopefully be a bloggin’ and twitterin’ fool.  So check back often, I’ll be updating my posts throughout the event.

A truly extraordinary personal documentary that I helped produce will air in the U.S. on POV tomorrow night (Tuesday).  Amy Hardie’s THE EDGE OF DREAMING takes on the subject of dreams.  And particularly what happens when Amy — a science filmmaker, skeptic and happy mother of three — dreams that her own death will take place within the year.  Then her health progressively starts failing.

THE EDGE OF DREAMING is one of those rare films that will stay with you long after you’ve seen it.  I’m very proud to have played a role in it, and want to acknowledge the contributions of my fellow producers – Amy, Lori Cheatle and George Chignell.  It’s been a long haul, but tomorrow is one of the great payoffs.

So make a date with your local PBS station, 10pm EST (though check your local listings).  I urge you not to miss it.  But, happily, if you do, or live outside the U.S., it can be seen online for free starting Wednesday and continuing for the next three months.

For more info about the film, the trailer, an interview with Amy and all that good stuff, go to the POV website.  An even better trailer can be seen here on YouTube.

It was a sweet few days for The Kids at Silverdocs.  And not just because we came away from it with a Special Jury Prize in the feature docs competition. 

The first screening was Lucy’s first time seeing the film with an audience, and the first time she took part in a Q&A.   Since she’s been away most of the past year studying abroad in Buenos Aires, we haven’t talked much about the film, either.   Partly by design but mostly following Lucy’s lead.  She hasn’t really wanted to talk much about it.  So, needless to say, I was more than a bit nervous about what her reaction would be.  Not so much about the film itself, but in seeing herself up on the big screen in front of strangers.

As she later admitted, the first Q&A (above) was hard.   She looked a bit shell-shocked and her answers were pretty brief and general.  But by the time of the second screening two days later, she’d had time to think about it and talk to other filmmakers and filmgoers she met while hanging out.   At that Q&A, Lucy was poised and articulate.  She said that it’s been almost 3 years from the filming and she feels like it’s almost another person she’s watching up there.  And that it’s a good film and she’s glad she’ll have this portrait of herself and her family to look back on in the years ahead.  Hopefully no one heard my loud sigh of relief while she said it.

I wish I could have seen more of the great docs screening there (though I’ve seen a lot from my Full Frame jury duty and from the weekly Stranger Than Fiction screenings here in NYC).  I would have especially liked to see Marwencol, which I’ve heard such great things about, and Wo Ai Ni Mommy, the eventual Grand Jury Prize winner.  But I was mostly tending to my two stars.   Marjorie I knew would have a great time, she almost always does at the festivals she attends.  But Lucy was the wild card, and she seemed to really enjoy the whole Silverdocs experience. 

Hopefully, the week marks a new beginning of my ability to write more frequently and candidly about the film.  It’s one thing as a director to be protective of his “star”.   But as a father, I needed to know my daughter was really okay about the film before I could move forward and talk about it in depth.

So, many thanks to Sky Sitney and the Silverdocs staff for a special week.  And, of course, the features competition jury for the very special recognition.

Block tackles a similar personal narrative in his follow up to his acclaimed documentary “51 Birch Street,” in which Block dissected his parents’ marriage and his relationship with his father. In a similar vein, “The Kids Grow Up” explores the director’s own bond with his daughter.

“We’re thrilled to be able to bring this moving, honest, funny, beautiful and important film to North American audiences,” said Shadow president Ken Eisen. “Doug’s made a film that’s truly universal precisely because it’s so personal.”

So no surprise that our Saturday morning breakfast special screening (10:10am!) was packed.  And happy to report it couldn’t possibly have gone better.

It’s still a relatively new experience to see The Kids Grow Up with an audience, so I was relieved and thrilled at how loud and frequent the laughs came during the first half hour, which is where most of the intended laughs happen to be.  As for the last half hour, where we invite the audience to go weak-kneed, curl into fetal position and burst into tears, well, it looks like we succeeded on that account, as well.

It was hugely gratifying over the next two days to have people come up to me and Marjorie and tell us how much they loved the film.  Many said it was their favorite film of the festival, which is nice even if they were stretching things a bit, or even flat-out lying.   Feel free to continue to lie to me like that in the future, dear readers.

I return much more confident that the film touches audiences deeply.  The notion has been reinforced by any number of Facebook and Twitter postings, and emails like the following from an audience member named Leah Janosko from Cary, North Carolina.

I just wanted to express my gratitude for your film “The Kids Grow Up.” I was one of the lucky (sniffling) people that had the fortune to attend your screening on Saturday morning in Durham. I was moved and touched. Your ability to put yourself and your family totally out there in such an honest, authentic and vulnerable way is such a gift to anyone who sees this film. I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate it.

I am the mother of a 16 year old girl (my only daughter) and it was as if you made this film specifically for me. The insights of both you and your wife were comforting in the sense that I am not the only one with these feelings. I found it interesting that during one of your answers from the Q&A following the viewing, you explained that your daughter was concerned that people would see this film and think that they know her. I came away not with knowing her but better knowing myself. Lucy represented my daughter with her laughter, intelligence, eye rolls and need for independence. Seeing how you coped (and anguished) with Lucy, is helping me process the complexity of emotions that I am feeling during this similar period of my life.

My only suggestion would be to please include longer credits at the end as I needed more time to compose myself before the lights came up and talking about the improvement in future education technology surrounding kids.

I will keep up with information on your website and look forward to recommending this film to friends who may have an opportunity to view it. I congratulate you on an amazing piece of work and look forward to your future projects.

Leah

Our web design worker bees are working hard to create a discussion forum on the website here, not just for wonderful reactions to the film (though don’t hesitate) but for wise and pithy discussion of parenting issues brought up by the film.   Having had a ton of experience from The  D-Word, I’ll be doing some of the moderating myself, and hope to bring in an experienced co-host, as well.  It will hopefully be up and running sometime in the next few weeks, so keep an eye out for that.

In a few days, the fun begins. The film gets out in front of audiences again.

Full Frame, Sarasota, Stranger Than Fiction and Hot Docs, for starters.

It’s been a quite a while since IDFA, we’ve been laying low.  But a lot is happening behind the scenes and hopefully we can share the news soon.   All I can say at this point is The Kids Grow Up will almost certainly have a theatrical release, probably beginning in the early fall.  So stay tuned.

But now it’s time to get out on the festival circuit at last.  On Thursday, Lori and I head down to the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival in Durham, NC, and it’s going to be a great three days.   Like at IDFA, we come not just to screen The Kids Grow Up but as producers of The Edge of Dreaming, which is part of the New Docs competition.  And I’ll be on the Grand Jury, which means the festival flies me down and puts me up in the lap of luxury!

On Friday, Marjorie arrives to once again take part in our Q&A.  Meanwhile, we get to see a slew of great friends and colleagues, not to mention take in some world class documentaries.  Apart from the 18 I’ve already had the pleasure to pre-screen for my jury duty, that is.

The following weekend is the Sarasota Film Festival, where we had such a great experience with 51 Birch Street.   Then on April 20, we have a one-time showing at one of the great documentary screening series around, Stranger Than Fiction, here in New York City.   Finally, we head back to one of my favorite film cities, Toronto, for Hot Docs, which is North America’s largest documentary festival.

I’m so looking forward to showing my film, meeting with audiences and sharing my family story with them.  It’s always a great interaction,  one that I get so much out of.   Then there’s the  online discussion component, coming here soon, which will allow everyone the chance to share their own family stories around parenting, kids growing up and empty nest issues.

So, this is just the beginning.  Here we come.